Scared S***less
So, let’s dispense with the white elephant in the room. As some of you may be aware, I’m facing some serious legal problems. I’m facing at the very least being placed on Probation. It all seems so unfair, and avoidable. Popping my medications like tic-tacs isn’t getting my mind off things. If only I could forget. I wish there were a mental methadone, and I could float on a hot-air balloon above the troubles of the world. I imagine myself something free, like a bird. Passing others by in a menagerie of color and sound. To be one of the great thinkers: Emerson, Camus, Dickens, Aldous Huxley, Immanuel Kant, Rimbaud, Castaneda, et al. When I’m medicated, I’m happy; I’m high. But underneath, I feel ugly. & all the pills in the world couldn’t change that.
